Wednesday, 14 February 2018

I Don't Feel Like I'm Doing Enough

Being an adult is tough work. We're responsible and accountable for a lot. Whether it's money, relationships, kids we have a lot of balancing to do that we probably all took for granted at some point. Being able to go out whenever we liked without having to arrange a babysitter (dog sitter in my case!), being able to frivolously spend money on whatever you wanted without any guilt attached. I wanted to talk about the feelings of guilt you can get when you feel like you're not keeping up with your peers.

I absolutely HATE that feeling. When you look around you at all of your friends, colleagues, family members and you're pleased for all of the great things happening in their lives, but at the same time it makes you feel inadequate. Like you're not on their level, like you're just not doing enough. You might feel like you're not doing enough, but you are. When you see that pal's Facebook status pop up which most likely includes one of the following - I'm engaged! I'm married! I'm having a baby! I just got a promotion! - it can make you feel like shit. It doesn't make you any less happy for them, you're probably thrilled for them. But, in that moment you reflect negatively on yourself. 

Let me tell you that it is completely normal to feel this way. Maybe you didn't get that promotion you went for, or you've been on a few crap dates lately whilst being surrounded by loved up couples. BUT I assure you that you ARE doing enough. Focus on the things that you are doing, or what you've been working towards. Don't feel like you constantly need to be 'doing' something to feel valued. People already value you

I have anxiety, so I'm already in my head a lot, but when it comes to achieving I'm even more so. Wondering if I've done a good job, what I could have done better, what more I could have done had I been completely able-bodied. I'm forever measuring and competing against myself. When I'm having these feelings of 'not doing enough' or not being adequate enough in my relationships, work life etc, I try to remember these things:

-You are doing enough.

-Sometimes it's ok to be stagnant to plan your next move. 

-You don't always have to share what you are and aren't doing. 

-You don't have to keep up with anyone. 

-You are still relevant. 

-You will get to where you want to be. 

-Your productivity does not affect your worth, or how worthy you are. 

REMEMBER: You're not here to be a non stop do'ing machine. You're human. There will be times when you're not as busy or in demand but you can take that time to just be with yourself. You don't always have to DO something. We live in a culture where no matter how fast we're going, were told we need to go faster, and that just isn't healthy. Take time to breathe, recalibrate and think about the things that you HAVE done, and try not to dwell on the things you haven't. 

(I've linked my bag and earrings too, but their pictures aren't showing, just click the blank pictures to shop them!)

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