Tuesday, 24 April 2018

Are you an Extroverted Introvert like me?


Through my twenties, I've dotted between calling myself an extrovert, and an introvert. Face-to-face in social situations and gatherings I come across as confident, chatty, sociable - definitely an extrovert. But, inside I'm probably thinking about how early I can leave without looking rude. At uni I'd say no to nights out as I'd rather stay in, get my coursework done and have an early night, BUT when I did go out, I had the best time. So after a little bit of digging,  I guess I'm an extroverted introvert.

You can take a zillion of those 'are you an introvert or extrovert' type quizzes, but none really explain what it's like to be a bit of both. So if you think you might be a wee mix like I am, I've talked through some of the points that make me an Extroverted Introvert. (You're probably even more like me if you're either 1. in the bath or 2. completely alone or with your dog reading this!).



1. I'm great with people...until I'm not.  I reckon for a couple of hours I can disguise myself as an extrovert. Outgoing, chatting away for hours, full of confidence, but the time soon comes where I've completely had enough of human interaction. I end up feeling drained and all I can then think about is escaping, going home and spending time alone. It's honestly like a switch goes off in my head and i'm done with socialising for the day. I'm in my head a lot - something which I don't think many people who meet me would realise. 

2. I'd rather spend time with one or two people at once. I'm not great with small talk. It makes me nervous and I end up blurting out absolute rubbish, so I'd much rather spend my time with one or two people I know well. That way I know we're way past the small talk and any conversation is going to be more meaningful, and make me feel less anxious. Small talk minus any connection is mind-numbing for me and at times my brain just completely switches off. You know when you're really trying to pay attention when multiple people are talking at once, and all you can think about is when you can leave + spent time with your pets? Same. I LOVE people watching, wondering where people are going, what they're doing, but spending time with groups of friends multiple times a week? No thank-you. 




3. I love my own company, but I do still get lonely. I love taking long baths, reading a book, listening to an audiobook, having a self-care night, but there are times I get lonely. Luckily, Justin is quite like me and likes time to do his own thing but we always do something together when we both have time - the perfect balance. 

4. I ALWAYS have an escape plan. Sometimes when I get to an event I've already planned exactly when I'm going to leave, even if I'm not under any time constraints. I guess this is a mixture of being an introvert, travel anxiety and the fear of my social batteries running low. When my batteries are dead I find it REALLY hard to hide, so if I have an 'escape' plan in place, I know exactly how long I need to socialise for.

5. I really enjoy listening to others. Mainly because it means I can listen, learn and process. I love hearing peoples stories - people in general are fascinating, so listening instead of doing all the talking definitely makes me more comfortable. Don't get me wrong, I can and do talk about myself a lot - perhaps thats why I'm mistaken for an extrovert at times! I think I try to get a lot of information out in the beginning to move on from the dreaded small talk. 

So, what dya think? Are you a confident extrovert? A reflective introvert? Or a bit of both?












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