Friday, 3 August 2018

What to remember when someone says 'You've Changed'

Some people find anothers personal growth hard to accept. They notice a change that they either don't like or can't handle and they whip out the good old 'You've changed'. I used to back track and be super apologetic if someone said this to me, when really I should have thanked them for noticing my own growth. 

I've spoken a wee bit about my past relationships on here, one of them being a pretty unhealthy one. After him and I broke up we kept in touch on and off, to which point he would continually comment that I had 'changed' and not in a positive way. I used to take it badly and try to convince him that I was the same I had been years before. When I think about this, I WISH I could tell the me back then to stop apologising. We should grow over years, months, weeks. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with changing the person you are, constantly developing yourself. With change comes experience, with experience comes added knowledge - whats negative about that?

There are things we have to go through to essentially shape the people we're going to be - sounds deep and thats because it is. We experience short lasting friendships to help us value the ones that stick around for the long haul. We go through really sh*t breakups to appreciate that person we then want to spend our lives with. We suffer loss, endings, beginnings, new opportunities - how could those things NOT change us?

If someone in your life tells you that you've changed and you can tell its not in a positive way, here are a few things to remember. 

- They're saying this to you because you've probably stopped acting the way they wanted you to act. You knew it wasn't right for you, you have grown and they can't handle that. 

- If they're making it sound like its a problem - it's THEIR problem, not yours. 

- If someone if comparing you to how you were years ago - thats growing up. That change is natural.

- When someone says this to you, it means you have lived. You've probably gone through something, worked on yourself or you've just grown up. This is natural. Yes, you've changed, and you'll continue to change.

- Don't feel guilty. In fact, congratulate yourself for moving forward

Chloe x

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